#like this man really walked up to a whole god and kissed him unprovoked

[werezmastarbucks]

tear apart

masterlist

word count: 2689

warnings: toxic relationship (story), drunk, blood

music: i'm going slightly mad by queen

The normalcy started returning completely when you looked around the bar and made sure that the world didn't stop spinning because of your little, pathetic tragedy. Freaked out Jackson called Chibs and agreed to come and pick up the body so that it doesn't start to smell too much in this smouldering weather.

You finally elected a vodka cocktail, as Chibs shoved you (gently) into the farthest booth, where the nearest spaces weren't occupied, and the nice shade reigned to hush all conversations.

A huge plate of food, drinks and phones on the table, he took a comfortable position, spreading wide like you imagined he would,

"Alright, tell me everything".

"Everything would be too long. I met Ned about seven years ago. It's a story of how I was naive and really dumb".

"Naive and dumb, nothing better to be when you're young", he supported, no mockery in his voice. "It's a good thing you did that back when you were young, and not now, when you're critically old".

(kritikly - it was like music to your ears)

"Cheers to that", you returned the grin to him, the cheeky laugh in his eyes. It felt like he, too, relaxed a little now, that the thing was done and you didn't stab him next. Or maybe he really, really enjoyed the shower.

"Anyway, I met him at work when I was twenty-three..."

You had to implement the drinking game, because listening to the Ned disaster without it was too much. Chibs set up a rule that you both drink every time he feels like Ned was being a disgrace.

You told him how you spent the whole night at the bar, just like this one, just speaking to Edward. You weren't drinking, even water, you forgot all about it, and people around you. In the loud booming of the weekend bar, you had to tear your throat for him to be able to hear you. You spoke about Eastern European history, which his thesis was on, and about the city, and music, and rare films; he was the kind of guy who secretly shames you for not knowing who Xavier Dolan is. He wore vintage vests, listened to Tame Impala, only drank IPA, lied a lot and made you feel very special. You spoke, and spoke, and spoke, and by morning you lost your voice. You were book smart back then, being able to uphold any conversation, and not seeing that a guy is just trying to charm himself a one night stand. Ned was hoping for a quick win, to jump, seize and fuck, but you were a virgin, and your heart was full because he was the first ever man who managed not to put you off immediately.

(Chibs drank about seven times in the very presentational first part alone).

The irony of the parallel didn't escape him, so he was threading lightly.

Then, when Ned realized that you weren't one of the quick victims who jumped into his bed at the first invitation, he decided you weren't worth it. He got angry. Life had been so easy for him before, after all, his vests, his curly rye hair and his knowledge of Francoise Sagan books opened all doors and all coed legs for him before. Not that you were unique, you were just that lonely and really, really innocent.

Finally, one evening he attacked you, unprovoked, just out of anger of your seeming, imaginary defiance of him. All because you didn't guess what he was getting at all this time, with all these kisses, and messages, and late night walks.

He broke your heart, nearly broke your neck, and then immediately fucked off to Latvia. Leaving in his wake rumors and gossips about you just to hurt you more, because you didn't break, and fell in love instead.

A couple years later you met again, through common friends, and he made an awkward attempt at peace, god knows what he wanted that time.

"Of course you know what he wanted", Chibs chimed in darkly, "it's his unfinished business. Like a vengeful spirit".

He nodded at your glass, and you both took a sip. You were on your second vodka and juice cocktail, and so far, really did feel alright. Maybe the alcohol conoisseur was right about the quality.

"Anyway, I completely ignored his existence. He even tried to egg my friend to tell me that I should bury the hatchet. A grown ass man, asking another girl to try and implant an idea into my mind. How pathetic is that".

He down his glass and looked around in the search of a waitress.

"I am positively dying. Please stab me, break yer glass and kill me with the shard. I can't listen to it no more".

"Well, you asked for it".

"I get that some men have a thing for hunt", he said, through his teeth, sounding like a scientist, "I am one of them, believe me. I do like a beautiful woman like yerself. But to do that so tremendously convolutedly!"

You clicked your tongue, the long words contrasting with his overall vibe.

"Sir, you have quite a way around your expressions". You drowned down a hiccup. Your head spinning a little, in a pleasant, mild way.

"Don't forget to eat. 'Course I do. Very distantly related to Walter Scott, even further than you to Jackie, but nevertheless".

"Oh, stop it, you're bullshitting me".

"I would never have you on, darling", he snarled happily. Completely sober, you thought. This guy is very far from tipsy.

"So should I continue, or you give up?"

"How dare ya. Filip never gives up".

"Who's Filip?"

"Filip is me", his hand snaked amongst glasses and plates to nibble you on your forearm. "You didn't think Chibs was my name? Go on, how did this excuse for a saggy dick become a stalker?"

"I had no idea where he was, what he was doing, after that one time when I was recommended to 'bury the hatchet', I haven't seen him until this very month. I travel to Charming because Jackson reappears right on schedule. You know, we haven't spoken that much, but when we did meet, about every other fifth year of our lives, we always had great connection... I don't know, I have closer cousins than him, but Jackson was always just a great boy to be around, and we always understood each other. Anyway, I work remotely, and he says that he has a son now, so I think, nothing really keeps me in that city anymore..."

Chibs, taking in the long digressions, was also trying to catch a waitress in the corner of his eye. He saw the other guys at the bar looking at you. And the deeper he dove into the inner world of you, the more he realized that he wanted to protect that, whatever you had going on. The need that you demonstrated, to bore deeply into the matter, showed the anxious nature of somebody too observant for her own good. Too thinking, caring too much about every little nonsensical thing. The small tattoos, stamps of impulsivity, a lot of which didn't make sense to him at first glance, screamed anxiety, and youth, and certain motivations that were more irregular than most. It all gave away your eternal youth which was propelled by the decision to choose joy over waning. And Chibs recognized this thing because he himself had a similar one. After forty-eight years, he finally got hold of the thing that kept him young: the desire to choose joy over sadness. To choose others over himself. To choose women, as opposed to rock his bruised and injured ego and never, ever love again.

He scratched his cheek, giving a little smile, not missing a single word.

"...and who approaches me then? Fucking Edward. I was speechless. Otherwise I wouldn't have allowed him to just sit at my table. He then tells me something along the lines of, 'hey, haven't seen you in a while, how you been? Damn, you haven't changed at all...' like we were just two normal acquaintances, you know? What the fuck? And then he orders lemonade for himself, all the while I am just sitting there with my jaw on the table. Oh how I hate myself for immediately not telling him to fuck off to hell. Well, I did stab him later, so I guess I fixed it".

"If he showed up so long ago, why didn't Jackie deal with him?" asked Chibs.

"I kind of downplayed it all because I thought he was just a nuisance. I did complain about him a week ago..."

"A week?" he snarled. "This clearly yellow one", he pointed his finger to your exposed shoulder, where a non-threatening little bruise already started departing from your skin. "Is older than a week".

"Well, we were fighting yes, I didn't wanna Jackson involved. At least it was fair fights then".

"Fair fights?" another really amusing combination from his windy valley produced mouth. "You enjoy fist fighting guys twice your size?"

"I guess I do..." you realized. "Maybe I was expressing something else there".

"Masochist", he concluded, "so, Neddie's been coming 'round, slapping you for at least two weeks, and then what changed today?"

"He tried to choke me, and I grabbed the knife", you shrugged. Chibs shook his head, not in an impressed way, but in a judgemental way.

"This bloke could've killed you. Killed a beautiful little woman, and that would've been the end of the story".

"But he didn't, and it wasn't"

"Ya got very lucky".

"Well, thanks a lot, it wasn't just luck".

"I hear you, Y/N, but believe me when I say it was", he said seriously, "you're brave girl, but having a knife at your side that moment was just wonderful".

You sighed, pouting a little. You did work hard to tear out this victory today. You didn't realize you had been actually fighting for your life, up until now. With Ned, it was always battle for your dignity. That went too far, or at least you thought so. Clearly, Chibs thought differently.

"So, there you have it, like Queen".

i'm going slightly mad,

it finally happened!

i'm slightly mad!

and there you have it,

Freddie repeated after you again, through the speakers at the bar. The space was filling with people.

Chibs was shaking his head slowly.

"Now, you", you demanded, without letting him give any comments. You didn't want to hear his estimation of this miserable story. The black eyes caught your face as he lifted his a little.

"Me? A story?"

"Yes. Where did you get the smile?"

"Me smile?" and he showed it a little. He probably was oblivious to the scars already, having worn them for so long.

"The one that's been cut into you, with a blade".

"Oh, that. I forget about them sometimes".

"They weirdly suit you".

Chibs changed a little. As if a trace of the past insecurity brushed over his face. He touched one of the scars, the more perfect one, on his left cheek, with the tip of his finger.

"That's even a longer story, for another time".

"That's not fair", you retorted.

"Life ain't fair at all".

"Y/N!" Jackson's voice said he was anxious to see you, probably to see if you were okay. The youngest of the Sons stormed into the bar, and you stretched your neck to be visible to him. He rushed to your booth, stopping in his tracks at the sight of the lavish table, the amount of alcohol, Chibs, soft and relaxed, and your bruises.

His bright blue eyes were scanning you, and Chibs, and then you again, and then Chibs.

"Took you long enough", Scotsman unplugged the tension between you.

"You wanna sit?" you offered. Jax shook his head.

"You alright? Why are you so bruised? Why are you so..."

"She's a killer widow, Jackie", Chibs explained, and you couldn't contain the laughter at his readiness to play along, be it about the very big pizza cutter, or this. "She's celebrating his death".

"Come, ugh", Jackson was speaking to his mate, but looking at you still, with worry, "with me, Chibs, help me see what to do with the body".

Chibs could give him a hundred counter arguments, but he knew why the youngster wanted him. So he quickly nodded to you, lifting himself up from the table, and they started walking.

The heat was slowly retreating by the evening, the sky raspberry and orange. But the air was still hot, like a swamp. Jax was all flustered, what and why, and Chibs is a bastard for oggling over his sister on the day that was so traumatic for her. Telford did his best to explain that he was now, at least, acting in her best interest, and noted fairly that she's been taking shit from her weird soy ex for a whole two weeks, no less.

"I had no idea..."

"Ye had no idea that's right", he nudged the boy lightly, "should keep a better eye on such a volatile kinda girl. Her aura screams trouble", Chibs jeered.

"Oh, don't give me this crap, like you know anything about aura now..."

"I know a whole lot about aura, Jackie, I'm a spiritual person..."

Jax snorted, annoyed, holding himself onto the box of the car where Ned was starting to bloat a little.

"Go on and get rid of this loser", Chibs advised, "and I'll keep an eye on her".

"Why don't we swap places?"

"Nay, I earned that. You know how heavy this motherfucker was? And I've been listening the whole fucking four hour backstory of their relationship just there", he stabbed the space behind his shoulder with a thumb, "nah, I am now collecting..."

"It's my sister you're talking about", Jackson broadened his shoulders like he always did when he wanted to assert dominance. He was a very good guy, Jackie. Chibs loved him very much. He caressed the guy's shoulder, giving him a peaceful smile.

But before he could confess just how much he appreciated her, the loud cry came from the bar. Thump, then cry again, and then, swearing.

"Jesus Christ..."

They ran back, pushing through three or four people who were just standing in the middle of the way, staring. Back at the last booth, a big guy, someone from the other side of the town, was sitting next to Y/N, at this point against his will. He probably did try to land next to her to smell her hair and give her a compliment or two. But the spooked girl pushed a sharp meat knife that had been brought together with the sausages, through the back of his hand. Now, he was attached to the table, screaming like an idiot. Jax rushed towards the bartender who, blind with shock, charged towards Y/N who was trying to fight off the enraged admirer who clutched her hair and was roaring curses. Chibs cut the space between them in three steps, pulling the knife out with a swing, and hugging the guy into the crook of his elbow.

"She must have told you to fuck off, didn't she?" he hissed, before landing a slap across his face.

"Go on, then!"

Jax was trying to calm the workers down and not let them close to you. Watching all that, you did feel like a princess for a second. Like they were some kind of very intellectually advanced apes, who protected their territory so efficiently. And you were now included into their territory. You saw Chibs, standing straight, looking back at you with his adorable dimples on scary face. That's what he is. The guarding dog. A little menacing, sure. Doesn't bite you.

He watched her face, ready to tell you off.

"Did I, or did I not say no more stabbing today?" he inquired, knowing full well that if you went on a whole stabbing spree, he'd trail behind. The blushing face pumped with blood, the glimmering eyes with red liner, the pride with which you carried you battle wounds, the skin, the innocent startled look you gave him, the small droplets of blood on collarbones, breasts tucked away under the gaping top - shit was good, and he wanted it, so bad.

[letoides]

Apollo: *applying chapstick*

Branchus: What flavor is that?

Apollo: Strawberry

Branchus: Can I try?

Apollo: *handing over the chapstick* sure

Branchus: *kisses him*

Branchus: Mmm, it does taste like strawberry

Apollo: *Apollo.exe has stopped functioning*

Branchus: (ッ)

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️���🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

[bitchassbucky]

Ｍｅ/Ｙｏｕ

📎Word Count: 1.9k

📎Warning/s: smut! MINORS DNI. toxic relationship dynamics <3 facefucking, sloppy blowjob, facial (not the skincare one), spitting in mouth, biting?, name calling, cheating/affair (bucky cheats), mean!bucky ig, toxic & manipulative!reader (she coerces bucky into cheating... so), alcohol mention, very very very brief sam x reader was mentioned

📎A/N: this was supposed to be a quick drabble but the fic practically wrote itself sooooooo @babyboibucky @sarge-barnes-sir @borikenlove this one’s for my hoes 💛✨

📎reblogs & comments are always welcomed!

📎Masterlist || Ask || AFTERDARK

The stage lit up as the band finished with a flourish. A roar of cheers and applause vibrates through the entire room, breaking the sweaty and the smoky atmosphere of the bar.

Patrons milled around with their drinks in hand. Drunk people leaning over walls and stools, waiting for their friends to come find them.

Your black-rimmed eyes scanned the room for a viable option. You slowly gaze upon the sea of bar-goers, picking out the best of the bunch.

The girl in a pleated skirt? Still giggling with her friends.

What about the man who’s been eye-fucking you since you got here? Too desperate.

There’s someone leaning over at the edge of the room, but they’re too tall for your liking.

You finished your drink with a sharp gulp, already walking towards the bar for a refill when someone caught your eye.

He looked like a sore thumb sticking out of the crowd. His hair was cropped short, a bit frazzled. A fair shade of stubble showered his sharp jaw, lining over his pink lips.

A smirk played on your painted lips, signaling the bartender for two drinks.

“Hey Sam,” you practically purred. A handsome man tending the bar leans closer to you, bringing forth a couple of shot glasses.

“It’s on the house,” Sam said, sliding a neat square of napkins over your side before placing the drink.

You tilt your head that way and smiled in lieu of thanking. A clink—half a second later, you put the empty glass facing downwards.

“Who’s the new guy?” A genuine question. The subject of the conversation sits patiently behind you, checking his phone periodically.

“A friend,” Sam carefully approaches your question, “he’s dating another friend of mine.” Sam already knows what your game is and how... unstoppable you are, for the lack of a better word.

“Well, that didn’t stop us before, did it?”

Looking over your shoulder, you meet his gaze, beckoning him to join you and Sam by the bar.

“Hey man, what can I get ‘ya?” Sam asked his friend, laying another napkin on his end.

“Just a beer, thanks.” He’s short with words. His steely eyes darting everywhere but you.

“What’s your name?” Now you’re scooting closer, even playing up a stumble when the man behind you roared a boisterous laughter.

He then looks at you, finally, albeit hesitant, “I’m Bucky—are you okay?”

You let a small giggle out, playing coy, “Yes, Bucky, I’m okay.” You stick your hand out, a couple of silver and tungsten rings adorning your fingers.

“Nice to meet you...” Bucky prompted, his large hand engulfing yours.

“Sam’s...friend.”

“Right,” he said, letting go of your hand after a firm shake, “‘m just waiting for my girlfriend.”

Sam already moved away from your area, serving a group of girls by the far end of the bar.

“He always does that,” you pointed out. A shared tidbit of mutual interest. Bucky was close enough to get a whiff of his musky cologne. A sliver of necklace hiding beneath his black shirt.

“Yeah, that’s how I actually met him.” It was unprovoked, what he said, but you kept the conversation going.

“You were with a group of drunk girls?” Your quip made him look at you with a playfully defeated smirk, his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. An act that made your thighs clench from under you.

“No, no. Well—he thought that I was some girl’s boyfriend and he gave me a free drink to ‘apologize.’”

You bring up your best laugh, flicking your hair off your shoulder. Exposing your jewelry-adorned neck to him. He gazed down to your chest before clearing his throat.

He was nervous, you—hell, anyone—could tell. His hands were stuffed in his pants, he fidgets by shifting his weight back and forth on his left foot.

“Are you okay?” You looked up at him through your lashes, you were already a mere half a-foot away from him.

Bucky ran his hand through his hair impatiently, checking his phone again. Still no texts. “Yeah—yeah, I’m fine. My girlfriend’s just taking too long.”

You shot Sam a look before putting your hand on Bucky’s chest, “I know a place where you could wait. It’s quieter in there, you could call her.” Your tone was hopeful—a mutual acquaintance helping out a friend.

Before he knows it, Bucky’s hand was in yours as you guide him through the crowd and into a dimly lit hallway.

The wall was decorated with posters and stickers; pictures of patrons and banned people too.

“In here.” You opened a door, flicking a light switch before fully opening the way to let Bucky through. “This is a rehearsal room, the walls are lined with foam so any noise is filtered—can’t really go in and out.”

The old couch on the back was surprisingly clean and comfy, Bucky settled there as you rummaged around the mini-fridge for another drink.

“Beer?” That wasn’t really a question as you pass him a cold can, sitting down beside him.

He huffed, deft fingers dancing over the screen as he composed a longer text, “she always does this. It’s fucking annoying.”

Like the good friend you are, you scooted over to him, laying a soft hand over his shoulder for comfort.

“Hey, it’s fine. She’s just probably held up right now,” you cooed, a sweet little thing. You take a sip of a drink as he does so.

You give his broad shoulder a brief squeeze and made a face, “you’re really tense, man.”

Comically, he relaxes, letting out a breathless chuckle that sent your core fluttering. “‘m sorry. It’s just—this is our first night out in a long while.”

You hum inquisitively, propping up an arm on the backrest, “have you guys been together long?”

A beat passes before you backtracked.

“Sorry, I haven’t been in a long relationship...” You trailed off, tucking a piece of stray hair behind your pierced ear. You tentatively took another gulp of your drink, your cheeks heating up.

“No, it’s okay. We’ve been together for like, maybe three years, or so?” Bucky looks at you. God, it’s like he’s trying to read you before curating his answers. “Been a long time too.”

“Anything adventurous happening?” You teased him, Bucky’s visibly more relaxed now.

“No, nothing adventurous.” He confessed - an unknown reaction washes over his face as he says it.

“I may or may not know a thing or two on how to make your relationship more exciting.”

“Really? Is that so?” Bucky’s voice dropped a couple of octaves, sending shivers down your spine. He leans over then, getting closer to your face until his face is merely inches away from you.

“Bucky,” you breathe out. Your hands flat against his chest.

He blinks—once, twice.

“Oh, fuck. Sorry—shit, I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t be here. I’m gonna go—“ His whole demeanor changed. Bucky stands up, straightening his pants and shirt before looking down at you, still seated on the couch.

He was just three steps away from the door when you slot yourself between him and his way, “where do you think you’re going?”

“Outside. Outside, I’m gonna wait for my girlfriend outside.” He’s rambling, his ears are going red. A thin sheet of sweat glistening over his forehead.

Closing the gap between you and him, you lay a hand against his chest, over his heart. “Do I make you nervous?”

Bucky stammers out a broken ‘no.’

“No? Why’s your heart beating so fast, then?”

You reached up to his nape, pushing him down to your height to kiss him hard. He didn’t push you away yet, his hands are gripping your arms for purchase. His fingers digging in the flesh of your shoulders. It’s sure to be bruised come morning.

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed out as you pull away. His lips shining and swollen, “what did you do?”

“Something thrilling, really.”

Bucky didn’t know how you got on your knees, tugging his black jeans down along with his boxer briefs in a desperate manner.

“God, I knew you were packing.”

His cheeks heat up even more as you palm him, his length hot and heavy against your hand. You lean in and nipped his thigh, your sharp teeth digging into his skin.

Bucky couldn’t help himself but to hiss and slap you across the face, “don’t fucking bite me.”

He expected you to look up at him with tears in your eyes, what he wasn’t expecting is you looking up with mischief and joy glinting in your eyes as you bite him again—harder this time, “God, fuck—you slut!”

Bucky saw red and grabbed you roughly by your jaw, squeezing your mouth open, “you want me so fuckin’ bad, you’re marking me, aren’t you, huh? Such a fucking slut, look at you.”

He squeezes harder, prying your mouth open as he missed your mouth with his spit, “open your mouth—fucking open!”

You obliged, your knees scraping raw as you kneel before Bucky. You feel his spit drip down your chin, the first time he missed. The second one slid down your tongue, prompting him to forcefully tap your cheek close as you swallow.

His angry cock stood dripping with precum; prominent veins making themselves known. You scoot closer, licking his balls up to the crown of his head which earns you a grunt.

“Hurry the fuck up,” Bucky orders. He wastes no time in bunching your hair up in his fist, slapping your swollen lips and cheek with his cock. “This better than your gloss, yeah? Hmm, yeah, ‘course it is.”

Bucky squeezes your mouth again, pushing his thick cock past your lips, your warmth engulfing all of him at once. “No reflex? My god, you’ve been here before, haven’t ‘ya?”

His presumptions were proven wrong when he started to pump in and out of your mouth. You gagged and choked, your throat constricting around his head every time he hits the back. “In and out through the nose, hmm? Yeah, c’mon. You can do it, bitch.”

Once you got past your reflex and relaxing your throat, Bucky took advantage and sped up. His balls slapping your chin when he thrusts in. The neckline of your shirt wet with spit and drool as he continues to fuck your mouth like he owns it.

You hum as you feel Bucky’s cock throb in your mouth.

“Yeah, yeah—fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

Another set of rough thrusts, Bucky pulls out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for air. He strokes his girth with his hand, with you licking the angry crown of his length. Ropes of cum spurt out, painting a good portion of your face milky white. You managed to swallow it, catching some in your abused mouth.

He stands tall above you, catching his breath as he tucks himself into his pants once more. “The fuck did I just do?”

“Something adventurous.” You smirk, standing up on your own, wiping your face with the inside of your shirt.

Bucky pats down his pocket for his phone, landing his gaze on the couch to look for it. He saunters over, looking for any texts from his girlfriend.

“You know, I’m doubting you even have a girlfriend,” You let out a sharp quip as you smooth your hair down, drinking the rest of your beer.

“Shut the fuck up.” Bucky retorts, stuffing his phone down his back pocket. Before strutting over a desk and scribbling something.

“What? You came on my face and I can’t say shit?”

He tosses you a piece of paper, catching it on your hand. Bucky gives you a reluctant look before turning the doorknob, leaving you alone in the room.

You unfold the paper then, ‘call me when you’re feeling adventurous’ it says, along with his phone number.

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕

A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much

All characters are 18+

Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line 

Todoroki Shouto:

this mf has money to burn 

we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass 

he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy 

he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps 

he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then

he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy

todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms 

when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀 

best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀

he was a tough one

but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement

you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes

todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business 

it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way? 

he only wants to have conversations with you 

i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are

todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants 

but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for 

you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to 

he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip

next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp

you kind of panicked bc like...wtf? 

your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”

sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period

him: “Yes.”

and that was the end of that

you dont question anymore

he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance 

doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something

he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can

but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot

and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning 

he really fucks w your laid back vibe 

sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends 

Takami Kiego (Hawks):

this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy

he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious

so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this 

he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends 

the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity. 

you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since

so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some 

“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement” 

you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal 

hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy

he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”

he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line

it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice 

however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons

ngl his dicc game is fire

he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it 

just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit

if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken

he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go 

if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip 

but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet 

and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite

there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does 

he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”

if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk  

overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled

Mirodirya Izuku:  

the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident

the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful 

he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first

he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by 

it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one 

he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes

he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts

that’s when he made his decision

by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number 

“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”

and what did you do that night?

you called his ass right back

you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set

midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there 

you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days 

he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus

takes you out shopping unprovoked 

izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”

you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨  

you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer? 

it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps 

he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love

deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first

if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku

he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it

send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust 

when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you

you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly

soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week 

you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you 

he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself 

your next conversation works out well for the both of you 

[suzuki-violin-school]

First I Love You HCs

First “I love you” headcanons !

Content: fluff, I Love You, bakugo throwing a temper tantrum, very cheesy, nicknames, bakugo insulting someone, getting caught passing notes in class, spiderman

Denki Kaminari

his: he short circuited and between all the mumbling and wheeeeee,,

“jkafbhe did you know i love you? ...wheee ukbajhfgdt”

honestly it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen 

you’re laughing as you give him a water bottle but neither of you actually address it

yours: snuggling up to him in bed when you’re half asleep

he’s awake though

he’s stroking your hair all comfortingly and you just hum contently

“mmmm i love you”

“yeah... right back atcha”

Eijiro Kirishima

his: after an intense water balloon fight in the summer

everyone’s wet and while everyone is congratulating deku on winning bakugo is throwing a tantrum about losing

kiri takes your hand while everyone’s distracted

biggest smile ever

“that was so fun! you were great! i love you so much!”

all the water on your face evaporates as your cheeks heat up

yours: you were working out together in his man cave very manly room

super tired, sweaty, fatigued, already sore and dreading tomorrow

he’s sitting on the floor and you’re laying down, still panting

“god... i love you, but you work me way too hard sometimes”

Fumikage Tokoyami

his: actually it wasn’t him, it was dark shadow

you were both sitting on his bed, reading quietly

tokoyami was looking up at you every five seconds and you definitely noticed but didn’t say anything

then dark shadow popped up out of nowhere

“FUMI REALLY LOVES YOU”

“JESus you scared me! ...lol, fumi”

yours: the two of you were having a tea party mad banquet of darkness

you wound up behind him at some point and put your hands over his eyes

“guess who!”

“...kaminari.”

“What? No, try again.”

“...hagakure.”

“No! It’s the person who loves you more than life, you idiot!”

“...dark shadow.”

Hanta Sero

his: spelled it out in tape on one of the walls in the common area of the dorms

that’s it

yours: you stood in front of his door playing a cheesy love song on your phone

but you only sang along when the lyrics said “i love you”

Izuku Midoriya

his: he did it during lunch, sitting in his usual spot surrounded by friends

because they all had his back, right? they were supportive, right? that’s what friends are for, right?

stuttering the whole time

“h-hey y/n? i-i uh, well, um, i-i wanted to s-say that i uh l-love you. a whole lot.”

everyone cheered

legends say he’s still blushing

yours: lyrics prank over text in the class 1-a group chat

hagakure and ashido were in on it and definitely helped

they were the backup singers !

the rest of the class thought it was really cute excluding bakugo

even aizawa supports you two

Katsuki Bakugo

his: he just said it straight up

instead of saying bye when you were going out with some of the others, he just

“i love you. see you later.”

“OH MY GOD THAT’S SO CUTE!!!”

“Shut up you invisible cunt!”

yours: passed a love letter to him in class

“roses are red, violets are blue, this is the stupidest format of poetry in the world and it’s so overused. anyway, i love you, time bomb”

he’s usually pretty chill but jeez he was flushed

aizawa saw you pass the note and asked bakugo to read it to the class, and he did so very proudly, followed by “and i love my girlfriend/boyfriend/date mate a lot right back!”

Mashirao Ojiro

his: okay, so you know spiderman?

he was in a tree and he grabbed a branch with his tail and dropped down in front of you as you passed

you grinned because what is he doing now

he was also grinning (nervously) because what am i doing this is ridiculous

upside-down kiss !!

“love you.”

and then he disappeared back up into the tree

yours: at the end of a date !

as you both parted ways afterwards, you kissed him on the lips and said it plainly, like in the movies

Shoto Todoroki

his: very straightforward

he walked up to you, completely unprovoked, said i love you, and then walked away to go do whatever it was that he was already on his way to do

“...what”

yours: very soft

you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist

(he was talking with deku at the time)

you rested your chin on his shoulder

(he rested one hand on yours and reached up with his other to caress your cheek)

you whispered it right by his ear

your breath sends shivers up his spine and he stiffens

“todoroki? are you okay?”

“y-yes, fine midoriya”

you thought it was really funny and he was very flustered for the rest of the day

Tenya Iida

actually you both said it kind of at the same time

you were both sitting on your bed

he was holding you from behind while you studied

“i love you, y/n”

you smiled softly and turned around to kiss him

“and i love you too, class rep”

then he died, the end

[thegracelessfaceless]

Can u do head canons for Travis with a s/o that he’s been best friends with for a long time and ends up dating // like he introduces him to the gang and they’re just like ... yeah wow your definitely straight bud // I’m tryna write a whole fan fiction on the concept and wondered what lil things other people would say about that idea // I would deffo give u credit for helping me get my head around the concept :)

Alright, Anon, I'll try to help, but for Travis, I always pair him with my OC, BISO (Big Intimidating SO), who will be officially named in this post (but probably still affectionately referred to as BISO (he's growing up so much, my baby OC)) Also, this may not exactly come out in headcanons. When I really get going, it turns into an imagine. I hope you're alright with that. And you better tag me! I wanna read what you write 😅.

(I was trying to find intimidating boyfriend gifs. Did it work?)

Disclaimer: this ficlet is based off of a character(s) and setting from Sally Face (© Portable Moose). It is fictional, and moreso, fiction filtered through an individual imagination. Any likenesses to IRL people are purely coincidental. If you are triggered by it, or it's not for you, sorry, send in an ask, and we'll figure out something!

Travis Phelps had a secret. Well a couple of secrets. Sal Fisher had figured out one of them, but for some reason he kept good mouth shut. When Travis had asked Sal why, Sal had replied with a simple, "It's not my news to share." And no more. Sometimes the peace that radiated from Travis' old crush infuriated Travis blindly. Other times, it was comforting.

A new boy had moved to Nockfell, a tall, muscular intimidating new boy. Travis had been drawn to him, like a moth to flame.

Whenever the new boy had walked through the halls, his classmates parted to create a path for him with uneasy faces. Poor Travis, only having had one crush (and it luckily was on the nicest boy on Earth), didn't know how to even approach the handsome leviathan, much less ask him in a date. So Travis tailed him, sure he'd work up the courage to speak to him.

It took days, but the new guy had noticed Travis' continual presence and his failure to even introduce himself. Thinking that this was some type of new kid hazing since he'd heard that Travis was the resident bully, he'd had enough and caught Travis off guard after fourth period.

His large hand closed around the collar of Travis' fuchsia sweater and gripped it. Then the new boy lifted Travis from the ground by it in order to bring Travis face to face with him. Travis froze in his grip, feet dangling, as the guy must have stood to be six foot five or six inches.

"What the hell is your problem dude?!"

Travis was left to dangle, mouth opening and closing like a guppy. He was so embarrassed that he felt like his face was going to suck out of the back of his head. He'd thought he had meant the words "Shame swallows me whole" when he'd written them to Sal, but he felt it now twice as strongly.

"I-I wanted to introduce myself. Was trying to get the courage" Travis confessed, and flinched then, eyes squeezing shut, head turned away, waiting for a punch that didn't come.

Once Travis noticed that the side of his face wasn't about to be caved in, his small confession grew branches and they sprouted from his mouth, "The first time I saw you, I wanted to know you better. Maybe we could hang out... Like on a date or something?"

Travis looked up from the spot on the floor his eyes were burning a hole through, into the new kid's face. The boys expression softened and he sat Travis on his feet. Travis looked down and kicked the toe of his foot into the ground, so he missed when toys bear of a guy just envelopes him in the most tender hug. One moment, he's staring at the floor, the next, he's in strong muscular arms and staring into to an equally muscled chest.

Intimidating as he may have looked, the new boy was actually the biggest sweetheart. He saw Travis' flinch and it broke his heart that someone could expect pain that unprovoked. Sure he'd snatched him up, but he hadn't offered much violence. Only gotten Travis' attention. He'd wanted to hug that flinching away, so he tried.

He pulled away from Travis a little, looking down at him, "Do you want to know my name before or after this date?" They didn't share classes, he only knew Travis' name from whispers about him in the halls.

Travis was already blushing, and now he was turning a deep crimson, completely out of his comfort zone, "I'm, I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Travis."

"It's okay, you were working up the courage to introduce yourself, remember? I'm Will."

The two were practically inseparable from that moment on, together whenever they were out of class, but at school, and frequently after too. They had their date, a twilight picnic at Wendigo Lake. Sal had started asking Travis to try hanging out with the Gang™ and told him that he could bring his new friend, though his demeanor was knowing, like he knew Travis and Will had become a couple. No words had exchanged been Travis and Will about their status, but them they didn't need to talk about it. They were just... Together. They had, started to hold hands in private places, even had their first kiss, and more, riding high on the excitement of young love.

So Travis had accepted Sal's invitation to hang out at Larry's place after school and extended the invitation to Will, who of course accepted. Larry let them in, body language stuff, but Sal was there to meditate, and frankly, Travis just didn't feel like fighting with Will around him. Will exuded the same peace that Sal did, but instead of getting annoyed by it, Travis basked in it.

Sal led conversation, made small talk, and eventually everyone relaxed enough to have a worthwhile conversation. Ashley, Todd, Todd's boyfriend Neil, and a guy Sal called Robert had joined the four of them and conversation was flowing, Larry, Sal, abs Robert talking about music.

"You two should check out Soundgarden. The lead guitar is killer" Robert was saying.

"Oh, yeah, man, Cornell is a god" Will piped up as he laced his fingers with Travis'. Then he leaned over and kissed Travis' lips, a quick peck.

You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone but Sal, and strangely Today and Neil, were looking at Will with shocked faces.

Will's brow furrowed in confusion, "What? Ya'll look like you got poked with a cattle prod."

Everyone was still shocked, so Sal took the liberty to explain. "I think they're surprised because they didn't know either of you were gay."

Will laughed then, a deep rumbling laugh that turned into a guffaw "You mean you were still in the closet? With your friends?"

"You know my situation, Will. Can you blame me?"

Will squeezed Travis' hand, showing that he was sorry and there, "Not a bit."

"We won't judge you guys" Larry said, "You gotta do what makes you happy."

Travis nodded, his golden brown skin a little paled out, "Thanks, Larry."

"Anytime, man, what are friends for?"

[illmaticreid]

We Fell in Love in October - Part Two

DESCRIPTION: Noah is in college studying film and has been a very boring freshman thus far. Her roommate demands that she goes to a party with her and this is where she meets an extremely bold Matthew. 

Warnings: smut, language, daddy kink LMAO

Word Count: 2,236

It had been a few days since I had seen Matthew at the party. Ellie picked me up from his apartment the next morning and flooded me with questions as soon as I stepped foot in her car.

"What happened? Was he any good? Is his dick big?" She frantically asked me with wide eyes and a huge grin on her face.

"I don't kiss and tell," I replied to her with the same grin on my face. She let it go after that and just told me she is proud of me for finally letting loose.

Over the weekend, I could not stop thinking about him. I couldn't stop thinking about his eyes, how they looked deep into my soul whenever we made eye contact. I couldn't stop thinking about his long curly hair and how it looked as I ran my fingers through it and pulled on it. I couldn't stop thinking about his long slender hands wrapping around my throat. He was intoxicating.

I snuck out of his apartment early in the morning before he even woke up so we didn't get a chance to exchange numbers. I didn't want to deal with the awkward 'morning after' conversation.

It doesn't really matter anyway, because we have a class together today. I wasn't going to go out of my way to find him and sit with him. For some reason, I feel like he will find me anyways.

I knew I was right when I felt someone sit down next to me just as the class had started.  He put his hand on my knee and whispered into my ear, "Hi, beautiful."

My heart started pounding in my chest and I felt my face get hot. "Hi," I meekly whispered back to him. I felt like everyone in the room was staring at me, but it was most likely just my anxiety.

"Are you acting shy now? What happened to the girl that was on her hands and knees, begging me to spank her?" He murmured to me, and I swear I almost fainted. What is wrong with him?

"Shut up, Matthew," I spoke through gritted teeth, still trying to keep quiet. What game is he trying to play? He just let out a little giggle and turned towards the front of the lecture room as our professor walked in and started teaching.

The rest of the lecture was infuriating. Matthew never left me alone, whether he was touching my leg or whispering dirty things into my ear. I had never been so hot and bothered in my life. I couldn't possibly go to my next class like this.

"See you on Thursday. Have a good rest of your day," My professor called out and everyone started packing up their thing and exiting to the hallway. I quickly got out of my seat and grabbed Matthew by his shirt and got as close to his face as I could without touching it.

"Take me to your apartment. Now," I spoke aggressively. I was trying to sound as scary as possible but he wasn't scared at all. He had that stupid fucking smile on his face again.

"I have another class after this, I can't," he told me. Hilarious. He thinks I care about one of his stupid classes. I have bigger shit to worry about.

"I don't care, we're leaving," I told him and pulled him out of his chair. I followed Matthew to his car and we were at his apartment in minutes. When we got inside, it was my turn to be the aggressive one. I threw him against the wall and forcefully put my mouth on his. I wasn't trying to be cute and sweet and submissive right now. I wanted to fuck him and embarrass him just like he embarrassed me.

"Whoa! Slow down, Slown down Noah," He spoke out through kisses but I wasn't slowing down. I pushed him towards his bedroom and told him to strip. He quickly took all of his clothes off and was completely naked while I was completely clothed. I got down on my knees and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

"What are you doing?" His voice was barely above a whisper. We had sex in his dark room last time, so I didn't have a chance to get a good look at him. All of him. He was massive, and it was almost frightening. How am I supposed to fit all of this in my mouth?

"What's wrong, Matthew? You don't want me to suck your cock?" I asked him with a shit-eating grin on my face. He didn't say anything back to me, his face just turned red and I knew I had him right where I wanted him. I licked up the side of his shaft and took his head into my mouth. I lightly kissed it, trying to take my time and make this as difficult as possible for him.

He grabbed my hair into his hand, trying to keep it out of my face. How sweet. I slowly started taking more and more of him into my mouth. I was trying to control my breathing as much as possible, trying not to gag.  I felt him in the back of my throat, stretching my mouth out completely and tears started to pool in my eyes. His head went back and he started to quietly moan under his breath. I picked up the pace and started using my hands on the parts that I couldn't fit into my mouth.

Tears were streaming my face, and spit was dripping down my mouth. Personally, I thought it was a good look on me, and I know Matthew did too. He looked down at me and I didn't break eye contact with him. I felt myself starting to get very aroused from just giving him head. I started moaning around his length and the vibrations from my mouth threw him over the edge.

"Fuck, Noah. Oh God," He said as his head flew back in ecstasy and I felt hot fluid leaking down my throat. His hips bucked forward as I slowed my pace down to a stop. I swallowed everything he had to offer and wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand before standing up.  

Matthew came down from his high and pulled me into him before kissing me. "I'm not done with you," I told him and I threw him back onto his and took my clothes off as well. I reached into his nightstand, knowing where this is where he keeps his condoms.

Matthew had stamina like no one else because when I walked over to him with the condom pulled out, he was hard all over again. He put the condom on himself and sat up, trying to get on top of me. Cute.

I laughed at him before pushing him off and climbing ontop. He helped me line himself up with my entrance before I slowly sank down on him. I paused for a second, trying to get used to his length. He was so deep it was unreal.

"I don't think you can handle it," He teased me, which infuriated me even more.

"Fuck you, Matthew. You'll see just how much I can handle," I taunted him as I slowly started to grind my hips against his. His eyes rolled into this back of his head as we both moaned out together. My hair cascaded down onto my shoulders, covering my breasts. He moved it out of the way before grabbing ahold of my nipples and pinching them just enough to fuck with me.

I used my thighs to lift myself and come back down onto him while he almost slipped out of me. His headboard banged against his wall as I bounced on his cock and our screams filled the room.

I told myself I would be strong, but I was a moaning fucking mess. I couldn't keep it together for the life of me. This man just did things to me that I know no one else could.

"You feel so good, baby," he said to me, his voice just above a whisper. He reached between us and started rubbing my clit with his thumb.

"Fuck, Daddy," I moaned out before even realizing what I said. My heart stopped completely as I looked down at him. What the fuck did I just say? Matthew clearly didn't mind because he got this look in his eyes, and I didn't know how to explain it. He looked insatiable.

He flipped us over in instant, clearly needing to assert his dominance because I just had to go and call him daddy when I was the one trying to be dominant. He lifted my legs over his shoulder as he sunk deeper into me. We both looked down and watched as his cock filled me up.

"You take my dick so well, don't you?" He asked me and all I could do was moan in response. He reached his arm out and wrapped it around my throat before kissing me roughly. I started grinding my hips up towards him to try and create some friction. I felt the knot in my stomach completely come undone within seconds. I moaned his name among other things as I came. I felt his movement start to become erratic as his warmth filled the condom.

We both just laid there for a couple of seconds trying to come down from our high. Eventually, Matthew got up to throw the condom out.

"Would you like to shower with me," he asked sweetly, his whole persona changing from a few minutes ago. I nodded my head and followed him into his bathroom. We were both dripping sweat and definitely needed a good shower. He checked the water temperature before opening up the shower curtain, allowing me to walk in first.

I couldn't stop thinking about how I called him daddy completely unprovoked. I had to mention it or it was never going to leave me thoughts.

"I uh... I am sorry for calling you daddy. I should have asked you before just spitting it out like that," I told him as the water ran over my hair and my back was facing him.

I heard him giggle before grabbing my shoulders and turning me around. He gave me a sweet kiss and said, "I enjoyed it just as much as you did. There's nothing to be sorry about. It was hot."

My cheeks burned even more. Of course, he likes being called daddy. This man is a slut for anything kinky. I just nodded my head in response and he started shampooing my hair for me. We took our time washing each other and caressing every part of the other's body.

It was relaxing and peaceful and so much different from the rough sex we seem to keep having. This was a different Matthew that I didn't know was there. He was kind and trying to take care of me. When we got out of the shower he put lotion on me and brushed my hair as delicately as possible.

"Now what? Would you like me to go home?" I asked him in all seriousness. I didn't know how I expected him to respond, but it isn't like we were in a relationship and we could just spend days together. I was prepared for any answer he would give me, understanding if he wanted to be alone.

"No, I was wondering if you wanted to stay for a little... maybe we could order some food and watch a couple of movies," Matthew said almost shyly.  Almost as if he was embarrassed to admit that to me. I smiled at him and told him I would love to.

We ordered Chinese food and shared what the other person was eating. We watched a handful of movies while cuddling and giggling and sometimes not even really watching the movie. Sometimes we would start making out and catch ourselves before anything got too far. Not that I didn't want to have sex with him again but I wanted to just appreciate the moment we were in.

I loved this other side of Matthew. While in bed, he was this domineering confident person that turned me on to no end. While we weren't having sex, he was just trying to take care of me. Matthew was constantly trying to make me smile and make me laugh whenever he could.

Around midnight, I told him I had to leave. He begged me to stay the night but frankly, I had a lot of studying to do. Actual studying this time. He offered to drive me home at least, which I said yes to. I was sad to leave Matthew but I knew I had to. I was trying extremely hard not to get attached which had already been very hard.

He walked me up to my dorm and kissed me sweetly before leaving. I walked in to find Ellie sleeping. I tried to start doing a little bit of homework at my desk but was finding it to be very hard as I could not stop thinking about him. I gave up and went to sleep to try and stop thinking about him but that didn't work because he was even in my dreams.

[imissjoongsmullet]

could you please make part 2 of mafia! dad! Han jisung, mafia! boyfriend! Yunho. when yiur daughter being kidnapped by another rival gang, and yiu very mad at your husband and he thought about ateez to help him and his oys to bring your daughter back, and she said sorry to jisung and jisung in his arms breathed 'thank god' after she saved and he proved his daughter and yunho please? thank you 💕

(part  1)

The house was dead quiet when you woke up. You turned over to find your husband sound asleep, brows slightly furrowed, hands balled into fists. Even in sleep, Jisung had trouble finding peace. You slid out from under the covers and made your way down to the kitchen. You paused for a moment at your daughter’s room, finding it empty. She’d most likely left for school already. You’d hoped to talk to her before she left about the many arguments she and her dad had been having recently.

Last night had been no exception.

“I told you never to see him again!”

“I don’t give a shit what you tell me!”

“Well, he better watch his back cause I swear the next time I catch him I’ll slit his throat and bleed him dry like the dirty pig he is!”

“Don’t you dare you monster!”

You knew your husband had a point. Your daughter was dating a member of a rivalling gang; it was a treacherous game she played, trusting someone who’s gang was actively fighting your own. As a mother, you couldn’t help feel like she was putting herself in danger the more time she spent with this Yunho guy, so you stood behind your husband’s decision to ban her from seeing him. But the other part of you also worried about your daughter’s happiness. You didn’t want to push her away.

“She’s already left?” Jisung’s groggy voice called. You felt his strong hands wrap around you from behind as he held you, planting a kiss to the nape of your neck.

“Yeah,” you replied, “I suppose I’ll talk to her tonight.”

He let go of you and sank down onto a kitchen chair.

“I just don’t know what to do with her anymore,” he sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes, “I know we said we wouldn’t attack ATEEZ unprovoked for the time being but if we could just take the guy out we wouldn’t be having these problems.”

“I’ve already told you,” you said, coming up behind him, rubbing his sore shoulders, “you kill him, your daughter will lose all respect she has for you. There’s got to be another way to solve this that doesn’t involve bloodshed.”

“That filthy animal deserves to die—”

“Honey, no,” you interjected, “please, you have more important things to worry about. Let me talk to her when she’s back from school. We’ll figure this out.”

“Fine,” Jisung grunted, getting up and grabbing his coat, “I’ll be out. Got business to take care of. Talk some sense into our daughter for me, okay?”

You nodded as he slammed the door behind him shut.

You spent most of the day worrying about what to say to your daughter once she’d be back from school. Time seemed to move one grain of sand through the hourglass at a time as you waited and waited… and waited. When the sun started setting and you were still home alone your nerves were starting to get the better of you.

She should be home by now, you thought, biting at the inside of your cheek feverishly. Where is she?

You turned on the TV to try and take your mind off of the situation at hand— not that it worked.

The front door slammed at 11:25, nearly giving you a heart attack. You ran up to meet your daughter, ready to give her a serious lecture, only to be met with Jisung.

“What’s wrong?” he said, noticing the panic creeping into your eyes.

“She hasn’t come home,” you replied, voice shaky.

Jisung’s face contorted into a scowl.

“That bastard,” he hissed, promptly pulling the gun from his belt and storming into the living room. He opened a drawer and hurriedly refilled his gun before spinning on his heels and running out the door.

“Jisung!” you yelled, starting after him but before you could open the passenger seat door, he’d started the engine and sped off down the street, tires screeching.

*

Jisung was breaking more traffic laws than he could count but he wasn’t scared; he was an excellent driver after all. What he was were scared of was what he would find once he got out of the car.

Most of the ATEEZ gang lived together in a hideout. It was an old house in a less travelled backstreet. Jisung knew where it was located but had never gone there. There was an unspoken rule of some sort that there should be no fights on actual home ground. Clearly, that rule had been thrown out the window when Yunho had taken up with his daughter. Rage bubbled up under his skin making him reckless. He wanted to hurt someone; preferably Yunho but his anger was so vivid that any violence would do. No one messed with his daughter.

It wasn’t hard to find Yunho. When Jisung got out of the car he could hear voices coming from the back yard of the old house. Walking closer he saw it was Yunho, Hongjoong and Mingi, standing around a large fire pit, drinking and laughing.

Cocking his gun he charged at them.

“Where the fuck is she?!” he yelled, shoving a perplexed Yunho against the back wall of the house, sticking the gun under his chin, “what have you done with her?!”

“What the fuck?!” Yunho spat back.

Jisung faintly heard the clicks of guns being pulled at him behind him but he didn’t care.

“What did you do to my daughter?!” he demanded, pressing the barrel of the gun harder into the younger man’s neck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Yunho retorted, “I haven’t heard from her all day, fuck!”

“Don’t lie to me!” Jisung bellowed, shoving Yunho to the grass. Just as he was about to bring his foot down onto the Yunho’s back, he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him and the next moment it was him being thrown to the ground.

Mingi came to stand over him, pointing his gun, “You shouldn’t have come here,” said the redhead, “any last words?”

Jisung scowled up at the gang members and opened his mouth to speak when a ringing brought a halt to everything.

“It’s her!” he breathed, recognizing the ring tone.

“Don’t fuck with us,” Mingi started saying but Yunho interrupted.

“Wait!” he said, crouching down to Jisung’s level, “is it really her?”

“Yes,” Jisung replied, taking out his phone and showing the name on the screen before answering the call.

He didn’t recognize the voice.

“We have her,” it said, deep and monotone.

Jisung’s pulse quickened, “where is she?”

“Come to the old shoe factory by the docks, alone, and you might get her back alive.”

The call ended before he had a chance to reply.

“We’re coming too,” Yunho said at once.

“To hell you are!” Jisung barked back, getting up and dashing off to his car, “Didn’t you hear? Come alone!” he went on, “let me handle this. I’ll get my daughter back if it’s the last thing I do!” he opened his car door.

“Hey!” Yunho shouted after him, making him halt.

“Don’t fuck it up!”

Jisung shook his head at the foolish youngster, shut himself in his car and let his engine roar into the night.

*

He knew the old factory, of course; it was a popular spot for settling business without alerting the police. He sped through the dark, empty city, mind turning just as fast as the wheels of his car. Deep down he knew what he was doing was reckless. How was he supposed to get out of this alive? He supposed that depended on what they wanted from him. But as long as his daughter was saved, it wouldn’t matter, he decided.

The factory looked abandoned as always. He got out and walked up to the building, fingering the gun at his belt.

The side door was half opened, beckoning him in. He stepped through finding himself in a large, open storage room.

A high pitched scream penetrated the cool night air. There she was, tied to a chair, crying through the cloth in her mouth.

Jisung set off at a run but stopped the moment a loud voice echoed, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Now he noticed the other people in the room. There must have been over a dozen men with guns pointing at him. A tall man in a pristine black suit came up behind the girl in the chair. His face twisted into a wicked smile as he caressed her cheek.

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Jisung yelled, coming closer, only to be stopped by the sound of guns.

“Han Jisung,” the tall man said, strolling over, “good to have you here with us tonight.”

“Who are you?” Jisung asked, eyes hard.

The tall man smiled. “I’m Jaehyun. My boys and I are new in town and we thought we’d start things off right.” He pulled out a knife and stuck it under the young girl’s chin.

“What do you want?” Jisung called, trying to keep the panic out of his voice, “I have money.”

“I don’t want money,” the man called Jaehyun said, sliding the knife dangerously over the girl’s skin, “I want your whole gang to leave town.”

Jisung frowned in disbelief.

“Hand over the town to us,” the man went on, “and your daughter will be free to go.”

“I—” Jisung started, thinking things over in his head. To leave town was to give up everything he’d spent his whole life building. There was nothing for him out there, not to mention the countless people that worked for him, had pledged their life to him; he would make them homeless as well.

The girl on the chair whimpered helplessly. He looked at her, heart softening, walls collapsing.

“Okay,” he said, face down to the concrete.

“Wonderful,” Jaehyun replied, now walking up to Jisung, “just one more thing. We can’t let you leave here.”

Behind the man, the girl on the chair cried out once more.

“You’re their leader. I can’t let you live,” Jaehyun said, casual as daylight, “you understand, right? We have to send a message to the rest of your gang. They have to know we can’t be messed with.” He grinned wide as he pulled a gun from his belt and put it to the side of Jisung’s head.

“Say goodbye to your daughter,” he said, cocking the gun, just as a loud crashing sound came from up above.

Out of nowhere, a group of men in a black disguise jumped in from a hole in the ceiling, shooting at everyone around them. Jisung took his chance and leapt towards his daughter, untying her while his rescuers fought off this new gang. They were quite good, he had to admit.

It only took a couple of minutes for the battle to die down. Jaehyun now lied motionless on the factory floor, blood spreading out from under him. A couple of his minions were still struggling for breath but the men in disguise were dealing with them.

“Are you okay?” Jisung breathed when he finally got his daughter free, only to have her fling her arms around him tight.

“Dad!” she cried, “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”

He held her tight, the weight off his shoulders lifted at last.

“Thank god you’re alright,” he sighed, not wanting to let go.

“Everything is taken care of,” a new voice called.

To Jisung’s surprise, his daughter’s head shot up.

“Yunho!” she cried, eyes wide.

At the mention of his name, Jisung’s head turned to the mystery man, finding out it was no mystery man at all. The men in disguise were all members of ATEEZ.

“You,” he breathed in disbelief.

“I couldn’t let you go in there alone,” Yunho explained, looking from Jisung to the girl.

That’s when Jisung understood Yunho’s true intentions. Looking at the younger man, he felt gratefulness rather than anger. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was embracing the man he’d wanted to kill just hours ago.

“Thank you,” he said, “without your help, I’d be dead.”

Pulling back, Yunho nodded. “It’s okay. I think it’s about time we started working together.”

Jisung looked at Yunho and then at the other boys starting to crowd around them, feeling a comradery he hadn’t felt before.

This would be the start of a new beginning. Jisung would join forces with ATEEZ and together, they’d rule the town, making sure no outsider gangs could ever get in and take it from them. And as for Yunho? Jisung supposed he was alright to date his daughter. He watched the ATEEZ member link hands with his daughter, saw the joy in her eyes as she looked at him and vowed he’d never deny her the pleasure of love again.

♥ ♥ ♥

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

20 Seconds of Courage -Part 18

The Elementalists au

Beckett x MC (Oriana)

Words:1729

Series Master List

Complete Master List

Warnings: Discussion of assault, difficult workplace situations (not entirely sure what to classify it as.)

Several days had passed since Jason had attempted to assault Oriana. She wasn’t leaving Beckett’s side. Anytime she did, something always seemed to go wrong, and she didn’t want things to get worse than they already are. She and Beckett were doing well, sharing lots of cuddles and kisses, and today they were headed into the office to talk to both Alex and Michael about the project. Oriana didn’t want anything to do with it anymore, even though Jason had been fired, again. Beckett had made sure of that. He’d also been calling his connections, and getting the word out about him, and that he cannot be trusted. Jason was going to have a very difficult time getting a job.

Sitting nervously in a conference room, Oriana sat right beside her boyfriend, lacing her fingers with his. She furrowed her eyebrows, looking around. The last time she was in here, she couldn’t even remember. Beckett had told her everything they did in here, with her on the table and him on his knees. It was so sexy, and Oriana was actually extremely pissed she couldn’t remember that part. Why can’t she just remember the good?

“It’s okay, Ori.” Beckett murmured in her ear. “We’ll hear them out, and we’ll tell them our decision after.”

She turned her head to look at him. “Beck, you can always stay on, you don’t have to do or not do anything on my account.”

He chuckled lightly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Don’t you know by now, that everything I do, I’m doing for you?”

She felt a blush rise into her cheeks. He was so good with her. So kind, so sweet. Yet he can also be demanding about what he wanted. She loved that about him. There were several sides to this man she was in love with, and she was madly in love with all of them.

“Oriana, Beckett, it’s good to see you both.” Alex walked into the conference room with Michael right on his heels.

“How are you doing?” Michael asked, his voice laced with concern.

“I’m fine.” Oriana stated. “Thanks for asking.”

The two men took seats opposite Beckett and Oriana. Michael spoke first. “Words can’t even describe how I’m feeling towards Jason right now. I’m horrified by these allegations, really, and if there’s anything that myself and Adams Industries can do to make it up to you, please, by all means ask.”

“I don’t think there’s much you can do.” Oriana told him politely. “Beckett and I called this meeting to go over our current project with your company. I’ve thought a lot about this, and I’ve talked it over with Beckett…and I feel I need to be taken off the account.”

“We weren’t sure if you were planning on continuing with Jason, but I feel strongly that Oriana shouldn’t be associated with it any longer. And as her safety is my top concern, I’m afraid I also need to be taken off the project. It’s not something either of us are comfortable with at this time.” Beckett finished, giving Oriana’s hand a squeeze.

Michael’s face immediately turned to stone, and it was as if they were looking at a completely different person. “I’m sorry to hear that. However, we do have a contract with this company, and that includes the two of you in particular. One of you must remain on this project. If you don’t do this, we will be forced to take legal action.” Michael said it without emotion, there was nothing in his eyes. So much for being sorry about what happened.

“Are you kidding?” Beckett asked angrily. “Your colleague drugged her and would have assaulted her if I hadn’t stopped it. And you expect us to continue working with your company? You could all be rapists for all we know.”

“Beckett.” Alex’s voice cut through the air. “I have been in lengthy conversations all week about this, and unfortunately Michael is correct. We’re in a legally binding contract for this.”

“You can’t seriously expect us to…”

“I do, actually. I expect you to put aside emotion and do your jobs."

Michael interrupted him. "There is no physical proof that Jason did anything wrong, nothing happened on company property, and yet he was still fired, mainly to appease you. Or was it you, Beckett, that made sure of that? There is no reason why you can’t continue with this. The problem has been taken care of.”

Beckett glanced at Oriana, whose face was white. He sighed. “Okay…I’ll continue, but she won’t. You said only one of us needs to remain. Assign someone else if you must. There’s not a whole lot left anyway.”

“No.” Michael said. “Oriana has been on this project since conception. She was specifically requested from the beginning. And actually, Mr. Harrington, you’ve been inserting yourself into all kinds of situations you shouldn’t, even become aggressive when unprovoked. I have recommended to my boss, and he agrees, that you will no longer be associated with Adams Industries. Oriana will take over the project alone.”

“You can’t be…”

“It’s true, Beckett. Oriana will head the remainder of this project now. And you will no longer work with her in any capacity. You will empty your joint office of your things and go back to your standard cubicle. Inter-office relationships are officially prohibited as of today.”

“Alex, please.” Oriana’s voice was barely a whisper. “I thought you’d be more understanding. You know what I went through…”

There was a cold laugh. “Once again, there’s no evidence that Jason had anything to do with it. At this time, we can only assume you drugged yourself, in hopes he would do something inappropriate that you could use against him. It wouldn’t be the first time someone did that to their betters. Regardless, Mr. Mulvaney is no longer with the company, so he is no longer a factor.” Michael stood from the table, the kind looking and concerned man who had entered the room was no longer present. Instead, a cold, steely, unfeeling man was in his place.

“That’s our condition. If it’s not followed, then we’ll see you all in court.” He left room, not sparing another glance at the three people still sitting at the table.

“What just happened?” Oriana asked, her voice rising. “Alex. You know me, you know I’d never…”

“Yes, I do. I know you wouldn’t make it up, or do something so insane you could have died just to get someone away from you. That being said, my hands are tied on the matter. Mr. Harrington, you have until the end of the day to get set back up in your old space. There is no more relationship between you two, professionally or other inside this office. Whatever you do in your own time…don’t bring it here.”

Alex stood and strode to the door, pausing. “I’m truly sorry things went this way. I honestly didn’t expect Adams Industries to give us such a hard time. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have either of you working on this anymore. In fact, I would sever ties completely. However, our legal team has told me it’s not possible without serious consequence. The project is almost over. You’ll be done in no time.”

He left the room, shutting the door behind him, as if he knew they would need time to digest what just went on.

Oriana’s eyes brimmed with tears, and she buried herself into Beckett. He held her tightly, rubbing slow circles on her back while her tears spilled over.

“How can I do this by myself?” She sobbed. “God, I really do have to quit.”

“Ori, remember, quitting means Jason wins, and…”

“Oh cut the crap, Beckett. I can’t do this without you.”

“You still have me.” He told her gently. “We live together, remember? I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. If nothing else, we have each other.”

Oriana scoffed. “He just banned our relationship. We’re not even going to be able to talk during the day. And like it or not, most of our time is spent here. At most we’ll have only a couple hours a day together.”

Beckett just held her tighter. “We’ll figure it out. I’m not letting you go. I’ll just…find another way to ensure your safety. I’ll hire a bodyguard.”

She shook her head, pulling back. “I’m done here, Beckett. He can’t sue me personally, just the company. And there’s insurance for that. Alex will be pissed, but…I’m not doing this anymore. I never should have come back the first time.”

“But then you wouldn’t have gotten to know me.”

Oriana placed her hand on his cheek. “Of course I would have. I don’t believe for one second that you would have given up that easily. You stole my phone number, remember? Searched five bars before you got to the right one. Put me on your permanent guest list when all we had done was kiss. We’d still be together, I’m sure of it.”

Beckett couldn’t help but smile at her words.

“I love you, Beck, so incredibly much. But I can’t work here anymore. I just can’t.”

He nodded, sighing. “Okay. I understand. Anyone in your position would probably do the same. Go talk to Alex. I’ll move my things and then I’ll see you later. They’ll have no choice but to keep me on this project, and as soon as it’s done, I’m out of here too. It’s not okay what Alex and Michael are doing.”

“At least this way I can send you naughty pictures all day long.” She joked. “Make sure you know exactly what you’re missing by being here.”

“Like I could ever forget.” He murmured, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. He kissed her sweetly. “I’ll see you at home, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.” She breathed. “Wish me luck.”

They opened the door to the conference room, Beckett going into his office and Oriana into Alex’s. Several minutes later she left. A couple minutes after that, Alex called him into his office and told him he’s to finish the project alone. Beckett hated not leaving the building with her. He didn’t want her out of his sight. But there’s nothing he can do about that now. His penthouse has layers of security to it. She’ll be perfectly safe.

That’s what he thought, anyway, except Oriana never made it there. He couldn't get a hold of her and when Beckett got home, the penthouse was dark. The security guard told him she never arrived.

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@walkerismychoice​ @confessionsofabrokegirl​ @lilyofchoices​ @darley1101​ @perriewinklenerdie​ @justendlesssummerfeels​

@feartheendlesssummer​ @elainew13​ @the-soot-sprite​ @paisleylovergirl​ @dottie-minerva-mikas​ @emichelle​ @kendrasgue​ @pbmychoices​ @divergentofhogwarts​ @sonsie0613​ @cordoniasmost​ @raffsbaby​ @brightpinkpeppercorn​ @symonde​ @emceesynonymroll​

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Half Blood, Whole Heart: Part 23

Pairings: Jax x Reader, sister Winchester!reader- SOA/SPN Crossover

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst.

Word Count: 2,087

A/N: So I decided to repost my novel- the story that someone stole from my old blog and put up on Wattpad. PLEASE don’t be an asshole and steal my stories. It CRUSHED me when it happened and almost ran me off Tumblr.

Half Blood, Whole Heart Masterlist    Aesthetic by @ravenangel33​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who’s swinging first, Jax or Dean.” You looked up from the blood drenched rounds you and Sam were loading into magazines with gloved fingers and looked at your brother. Dean was going through his own training session with Jax and Opie while you all waited for Jody to come back from recon. You shook your head and looked back down.

“Neither. Jax knows how mad I would be if he hit Dean unprovoked and so does Dean. Ope might. While Dean and him were friends when he lived with me, Ope sees Jax as a brother. Best friends since childhood. I’ve seen that man break another man’s jaw with one punch for talking shit to Jax at the club.” Sam’s eyebrows flew to his hair line and he chuckled as he leaned closer to you.

“Shit… maybe he should swing first. Knock Dean off his high horse for a bit.”

“Bro, I would pay money to see that.” You joked as you loaded the last round. 

“Dean! Be nice to your brother-in-law and his friend.” Jody snapped in her ‘mom-voice’ as she walked back up the path. Dean went to interject and she held her hand up. “They both look like they can handle themselves. Don’t need you up their asses.” You and Sam both snorted laughter as you took the full magazine from Sam and pulled your rifle toward you.

“Shut up.” Dean snapped at you and your brother.

“Do I need to mom-voice you, too, De?” You teased as you shut the tailgate of your truck and threw your gloves into the back.

“Don’t push it.” Knowing he hated to be ganged up on, you smiled at your oldest brother and bowed your head toward him in surrender.

“Alright. Three entrances; front and right side and an open loft. It’s pretty high up.” Jody informed everyone as they picked up their weapons.

“High, as in two, six foot four guys can’t push you and (Y/N) up there?” Dean asked.

“It may be a slight stretch.” The oldest Winchester nodded slowly before looking around.

“Alright. Jax and I on the side, Sam and Ope take front. Get the girls in the loft first then throw a rock or something toward the side. 5 count and go in.” All of you nodded in agreement as something began to irk you. Your brow furrowed and you shook your head.

“Something is off…” You said as the group started heading toward the barn.

“You know, it really weirds me out when you do that so don’t.” Dean said; far past brother mode at this point. Jax waited to walk with you and you shook your head.

“Just, stay close to Dean. I can’t…” With a small nodded, he shushed you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“I know. It’s gunna be alright. I’ll be careful.” You nodded as you cocked the rifle in your hands and tried to ignore the annoying twist in the pit of your stomach. As the barn came into view, you forced yourself into hunter mode. Dean and Jax headed toward the right side of the barn quickly as Sam and Opie ran in front of the doors and made a cradle with their hands.

“Go first and find a spot. I’ll pass this up.” Jody whispered as she took your rifle. You nodded and stepped into their hands. At the end of a whispered three count, you were hoisted into the air. You grabbed the edge of the loft easily, heaved yourself up and took a look around. The decrepit building was dimly lit by the sun slanting through broken spots in the wood paneling. The platform you were standing on was short and while you could see a lot of the barn below you, you couldn’t see a single vamp.

“Looks empty.” You whispered as you crouched down and reached out of the open door to grab your gun. Your senses were on high alert as you laid it down next to you when suddenly, someone ‘tisking’ you from the shadows behind you sent ice water through your veins.

“Don’t remember ordering take out but I’ll never turn down a free meal.” You grabbed your rifle and spun toward the sound as the loft doors slammed closed behind you; trapping you in darkness. Your heart stopped as your eyes fought to adjust.

“Now! Go now!” You screamed as the woman’s footsteps ran toward you at an inhuman speed. You thanked God for your fast reflexes as you fired off a round into the unknown before you. You heard a female scream as the body hit the ground. The doors flew open below you with a bang, but as the barn was filled with light, you instantly wished for the darkness again. With giant, fang filled smiles, at least 6 vampires came out of the shadows and advanced toward you. Without thinking, you stood up and ran forward.

“Someone catch me!” You shouted as you leapt out of the loft with your rifle clutched to your chest. Jax had only seconds to get under you and you both collapsed to the ground from the impact.

“I am not OK with that.” He gasped as vampires appeared to pour out of the wood work; dancing along the shadows on the edge of the barn and leaping down from the loft.

“Yea, no fucking kidding.” The barn turned into gory chaos as the five members of the hunting party stood in a circle of sunlight around you, attacking vamp after vamp as they lunged toward the group. The sound of blood curdling screams and shouted directions were muted by explosive gun fire. You fired round after round at every vamp you could to slow the monsters down; the power of your rifle and the close proximity doing a lot more good than originally expected. 

The bloody fight felt like it lasted forever as more and more vamps fought to kill their next big meal. Your pulse pounded in your ears as you fought to stay alive and to keep your family safe. When the last stumbling vamp hit the ground; his body a good six inches away from it’s now rolling head, you cycled the last empty shell casing of your last round.

“Jax, get her out of here. We’ll clear it.” Dean said as he pat Opie’s arm and pointed toward the stairs. Your husband didn’t wait to be told twice as he grabbed your arm and spun you toward the door. He took your rifle for you as he guided you up the path next to him in an adrenaline fueled fog. It took almost a full minute before the severity of how close of a call that was fully hit you.

“Jax…” You whispered as your stomach turned; the reality that you were seconds away from losing your life and your sons twisting in you like a knife. You ripped your arm out of his grip and he turned around as you threw up. You barely heard the clatter of the weapons he was carrying fall to the ground over the sound.

“It’s alright, babe. It’s over.” He soothed as he pulled your hair out of the way. You shook your head as tears began to pour.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” You sobbed between heaves; the guilt of agreeing to this hunt in the first place eating away at you. He didn’t say a word as he stood by your side; checking for any injuries or bites and gently rubbing your back until your stomach finally settled. Once you were done, he handed you the bloody weapons and picked you up bridal style to carry you back to the truck.

“I’m not sorry so you shouldn’t be either. They would be dead if we hadn’t shown up. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like how it went down and so help me, I will tie your ass to a chair if you ever think you are hunting while your pregnant again. But end of the day, we did our job and we are both OK.” You nodded wordlessly as he put you down next to the truck. You tossed your gun and the machete into the bed of the truck, not paying any mind to the blood that drenched them and your body. You heard the flick of Jax’s zippo and you looked over at him. You took in his blood soaked clothes and the small bits of flesh and blood in his hair and short beard and a small bubble of laughter broke your upset mood.

“You look like a horror movie victim.” He smiled around his cigarette and pointed at you.

“You don’t look much better, babe.” With a small shrug, you reached out and quickly snatched his cigarette; dancing out of reach as you took a drag.

“I almost died.” You said as you handed him back the cigarette. “I call that grounds for a drag, pregnant or not.” You walked back and dropped the tailgate of the truck.

“I will say this… that was one epic jump.” You giggled as he sat down next to you.

“Sorry, if I hurt you.” He shook his head and exhaled as he handed you the cigarette.

“You didn’t. Knocked the wind out of me though.” You passed him back the cigarette and smiled as you looked over at him.

“Do you realize we both literally fell for each other?” He smiled and leaned over to give you a chaste kiss.

“Had to make it cheesy.” You laughed and laid your head on his shoulder as he took your hand in his.

“I thought it was a cute sentiment, thank you.” You could hear Jody’s voice coming up the path and you picked your head up to look over at them.

“Final count was twenty-two vamps.” Sam called out as they headed toward you looking just as battle worn as you and Jax. “Winchester family record.”

“You guys OK?” Ope asked as he pulled out his smokes and lit one.

“Yea, we’re good. Little shell shocked.” You responded as Jax got off the tailgate. You could see the anger in his eyes and you quickly stuck your leg out to keep him back and prevent a fight.

“Look, I’m glad everyone’s all good and shit worked out, but I need this to be said officially. Do not call (Y/N) for a hunt while she’s pregnant again. That was way to fucking close and when she says shit feels off, listen to her. She does that shit all the time and she’s always right.” 

“No, totally agreed.” Sam said quickly as he purposely took a step forward in front of Dean who you both knew was quick to pop off when he was confronted. “I made a poor judgement call and it won’t happen again.” You reached out and grasped Jax’s shirt sleeve to pull off your guard dog.

“Hey, let’s just go back to Bobby’s, get cleaned up, have a few beers and call it a night. Call to check up on Lyla and Tommy and have Crowley come check the baby?” You suggested to the group as you used your legs to turn Jax away from your brothers.

“I already called Cas for that. He’s gunna meet us at Bobby’s.” Dean said as he walked over to the Impala and popped open the trunk. You rolled your eyes at your brother’s disliking for the demon but didn’t say anything.

“Well thank you all for your help. You guys have a good night; I have a hot bath, Netflix and a bottle of red calling my name. Keep in touch, boys.” You all said by to Jody as you jumped off the tailgate and snapped it closed.

“Be nice.” You scolded softly as Jax lead you to the cab. He laughed as he opened the door.

“That was nice.” You climb in next to Opie who chuckled as he tossed his cigarette butt out the window.

“That’s Jax nice.” He said as your husband got in behind you. Your friend looked you over with concern. “Are you OK though, really? That was a pretty far jump.”

“Brotha… she literally fell for me.” Jax said as he started the truck as the Impala roared to life next to you.

“Really? You call me cheesy and then steal my line?” He shrugged as he got on the main road behind the Impala.

“It’s a cute sentiment.”

Part 24

[jungnoir]

tough guy;

lee jooheon | to everyone in your city, lee jooheon is a force to be reckoned with. to his gang members, he’s their fearless and strong leader. but to you? he’s the boyfriend who forgot to bring home eggs like you asked four times. | 2.3k words. | fluff. | for @minsugadotcom‘s request :) 

“Didn't anyone tell you not to fuck with my boys?” Jooheon’s smirk is something so sinister that the man writhing on the ground thinks the kick to his head earlier might have had him hallucinating, imagining the devil in the place of the gang leader he had wronged. He had heard the warnings, sure, and maybe if he had listened, he might not have been clinging to life by his fingernails. 

But that’s what happened when you wronged Lee Jooheon, leader of MX, the biggest and baddest biker gang in Seoul: you got what was coming to you.

Some referred to Jooheon as a devil, a monster, a beast even. But Minhyuk, Hyunwoo, Hoseok, Changkyun, Hyungwon, and Kihyun all knew him as their leader, a leader that would exact all of hell’s fire upon whoever decided they’d lay their hands on one of his members. In this case, it had been on Minhyuk. It was completely unprovoked and had left the boy with so much bruising that the gang’s doctor could barely look at him before he had suggested that a hospital visit was best. And while the gang had usually steered clear of places they could be recognized, Jooheon had been certain from the get go that Minhyuk deserved the best, screw the rest.

What was worse was that the asshole that thought he could get away with such an offense didn’t even belong to a gang they were rivals with. No, he just decided to cause a little trouble with the wrong guy, is all. And Jooheon really hated dealing with the general, innocent public. But this guy was not innocent, and he certainly wasn’t going to get let off just because of Jooheon’s ideals.

Changkyun, the newest recruit, passes Jooheon a bat, just as Kihyun rushes into the alleyway, a phone clutched in his hand and a terrified look on his face. “Boss!” He shouts, and while Jooheon stills, he doesn’t look back. He heaves a deep exhale, one that warns them all that his patience is wearing incredibly thin the longer he goes without beating this bastard’s face in, “What?” 

“I-it’s... it’s her. She finally called.” 

The bat thuds next to the bastard on the ground, making the man jump back in shock. His eyes trail up Jooheon’s frame, attempting to meet Jooheon’s eyes and figure out just who had enough power to make such a man freeze like that, but a shoe comes in contact with his cheek and shoves it back into the rough gravel, pieces of rock biting into the skin as Changkyun stands above the bastard with a smirk, digging his shoe in further as the squirms.

Jooheon takes a quick, almost worried breath, and then looks at Kihyun, “What did she say?”

“Well... she actually called three times. And then she texted... she's on her way.”

Jooheon swears under his breath. “When did she text that?” “’Bout fifteen minutes ago.” Kihyun answers, wincing slightly.

Hyungwon, who had been standing in the alleyway idly for the majority of the time, suddenly perks up, his eyebrows rising in surprise, “Oh! That means she’s-” 

Hyungwon doesn’t get to finish his thought before Jooheon is suddenly sprinting, Hoseok trailing behind with a small grin on his face. Quickly, Jooheon stops to yell one last command for Hyunwoo to take over before he’s flying around the corner to his bike, pulling off at the speed of light. 

Changkyun narrows his eyes, “Who is ‘she’ and why is boss so scared that he missed her calls?” 

From his spot against the wall, Hyungwon laughs, casually strolling through his phone contacts for Minhyuk’s number, “Kid, if Jooheon is a storm, she’s a hurricane.”

Jooheon isn’t sure exactly what’s scarier: the fact that you’re sitting on the couch back at the base, casually talking to Minhyuk like old friends, or the fact that he had walked in three minutes ago and you still hadn’t looked at him yet. It’s only when Minhyuk looks up from you, into to grab his cup of tea, that he sees Jooheon standing semi-frozen in the doorway, Hoseok standing behind him and mouthing something Minhyuk can’t even understand. “Oh, boss, hey! (Y/N) stopped by while you were out.” 

It seems you only pay Jooheon any attention when Minhyuk mentions him, which makes Jooheon gulp so hard Hoseok can hear it. 

Your head turns nonchalantly, a vague smile on your face when you see him. Calmly, gracefully, you get up from the couch and walk over to him, and Jooheon nearly backs into Hoseok, but the older boy places a somewhat comforting hand on his leader’s back and pats, as if Hoseok is signaling that he’s praying for Jooheon and his soul, wherever it may go after you’re done with him.

“Hey, baby. Can we talk in private real quick? It won’t take long, I swear. Minnie told me you and the boys were just out... taking care of things.” You ask him, wrapping a hand around his bicep and squeezing, a squeeze that easily translates to “you have absolutely no choice or say in the matter”. Jooheon only nods once and roughly swallows, glancing at Minhyuk who looks completely oblivious to the situation as he shoots a big smile at the two of you. You quietly tug Jooheon in the direction of his office, the walk down the long, dim hallway making Jooheon’s heartbeat accelerate all the more. 

He reaches a hand out to open the double doors to his office, and you follow in silently behind him, twisting on the balls of your feet before closing the doors behind you both with a resounding slam. Jooheon gulps for the third time since he’d seen you.

“Where. Are. The eggs?”

Eggs? Is this what you called three times for and nearly given Jooheon a heart attack over? “I don’t follow…” Jooheon chances to say, and by the sight of you aggressively rolling your eyes, it was not the right thing to say.

“Remember when we found out Wednesday morning that Minhyuk had been jumped, and then I said ‘Hey, Jooheon, I’ll be working pretty long hours today and tomorrow, but I’ll try to make it home during lunch Thursday so I can make Minhyuk a get well cake, so can you pick up some eggs tonight?’ and you said ‘Sure!’ and then I came home Wednesday night and they weren’t there? And then, do you remember I was so exhausted that I just told you you could pick them up today before I got home and you said ‘I’m on it!’ and then this morning when I got up I reminded you to get the eggs? And then I texted you two hours ago, a text you didn’t answer by the way, to make sure you got the eggs because I was taking my lunch hour off specifically to make that cake and I didn’t have time to shop for eggs?”

Jooheon swallows, but stays silent.

“So here I am, barely enough time to climb in my car with a rational thought and all I’m thinking is, ‘Oh god, today is the day. He’s not picking up the phone and he’s ignoring my texts. Something must’ve happened to him.’, only for me to call Kihyun and hear that you were in some alleyway getting into trouble?!” In rhythm with your last three words, you smack his bicep exceptionally hard, which doesn’t necessarily hurt him so much as make him wince. He can see the obvious frustration in your eyes of course, but underlying that was a fear he’d never really been able to see up close too often.

Granted, you knew the risks of dating a gang member, especially one like Jooheon. He had made it irrevocably clear to you on your first date, a blind date thanks to the internet (and Hoseok’s incessant whining about Jooheon needing a love life), that he was not a simple man with a simple job. He had went to all ends of his might to use big and scary words that would deter you, so at least he could get back to the base sooner and get some work done, but then you had done something he hadn’t quite expected. You had, up until that point, kept your long black trench coat on with purse in lap. But as soon as he had given you the initiative to either stay and regret it, or leave and live normally, you had dropped your bag to the ground and shimmied out of your coat, settled into your chair, and smiled over the table at him.

“It’s gonna take more than a little warning to get me to leave, now.”

From that moment, Jooheon knew you were different. And it wasn’t that he blamed the other girls he’d gone out with, who had run at the first sight of his exposed scars and winding tattoos that he barely kept covered under his leather jacket, it was just that for the first time, he actually felt human. Normal. Able to have a real life.

You had been somewhat of a rock to him for most of your relationship, always the one he’d air his grievances to at the end of the day with legs intertwined and hands playing with each other’s hair, and you were always the one that he could get a clear, objective viewpoint from whenever he was knee-deep in god knows what kind of mental hell hole. He had seen you cry over him twice: once, when he had come home with two shoddily wrapped bullet wounds in his abdomen, and the other time, when he had left you for what felt like the last gang war he’d ever be a part of. You hadn’t cried when he left, only when he came back, because you hadn’t wanted his last memory of you to be you sobbing over his imminent death. He knew then you were far too special and far too strong for him. He constantly felt like the villain that got the girl, wrong but so, so happy he did.

So when you would cry over him, something would tear in his heart, and the big, bad, scary Jooheon that ruled his streets with an iron fist suddenly came crashing down and he was soft putty in your hands, willing to mold to whatever to make you happy again.

He slinks toward you and grabs your wrists, the ones that had still been beating him this whole time, and he brings them up to his lips as tears start to trail down your cheeks. He presses warm kisses to the insides of each wrist, never breaking eye contact with you for a second. His touch is gentle and delicate, a touch he’s trained himself to use when he handles you. He was so used to being hard and rough some days, but he knew that you were the only exception for this side of him... you always would be.

“I’m sorry, babydoll… I guess this just goes to show how dissimilar we are,” He whispers, a light grin playing at his lips when you tilt your head in confusion, “you bake cakes for the injured and I beat their assaulter’s face in.”

You let a soft, almost disbelieving laugh fall past your lips before you’re reaching for Jooheon’s neck and pulling him down toward you. His lips instinctively pucker as you press mouths with him, the kiss a little teary and a little angry, but all loving. As soon as you pull away, he’s pouting. “I’m gonna take the day off just so I can kiss you for the rest of today. Come here.” He grins when you start laughing, his arm hooking around your waist to pull you in.

“Uh, boss?”

The two of you instantly freeze, the soft and warm atmosphere slowly sinking into one of blushing embarrassment when the two of you realize that the doors to his office were open, and seemed to be for quite some time now, because the gang were all standing there with various looks of amusement, and of course, Kihyun’s look of mild disgust at his boss’ mushiness. “Uh,” Kihyun starts, almost in a trance when he actually sees Jooheon’s cheeks blare red, “the guy was taken care of. But we need to have an emergency meeting about a possible turf war on the other side of the city. That rookie NCT gang is getting rowdy again.”

You gently peel yourself away from Jooheon, his hands instinctively seeking you out once more before he realizes that he’s got to wait until you both get home to find that piece of heaven again. He tries to steel his pout when you straighten up your lovey-dovey expression for a small, polite smile for the boys. You nod at them and they nod back, parting like the red sea as you begin your walk back outside and to your car. That is, until…

“Baby?” Jooheon calls, and you immediately startle and turn, thinking something was wrong, but all you see is Jooheon holding his arms out, almost like an expectant child. “A kiss goodbye?”

You shake your head, unable to hide your laugh as you run back up to him and kiss him again, giggling against his mouth when he whines and tries to pull you back in for longer. You slip away again and blow a kiss as you walk out, yelling that you would be expecting those eggs when you came home tonight, and Jooheon just sighs, melting against his desk with a fond expression.

It’s quiet for a little while, the other boys standing in both mild shock and entertainment at the sight of their usually terrifying boss acting like a lovesick fourteen year old boy with his lover.

Changkyun is the first to speak, quite boldly, “That was so fucking cheesy.” “Shut up, kid.” “Yes, boss.”

[the-little-red-noodle]

7/3/19 11:39pm the aftermath

Spencer and i broke up today.

I am so exhausted. My eyes hurt from crying. My chest hurts from breathing and thinking and seeing him. I feel hollow but also so fucking heavy i can’t move. I feel hurt, i feel frustrated, i feel confused and i feel so fucking angry that this is happening one of the weekends i was looking forward to the most this summer. I am really really frustrated and really sad.

I had been in costa rica for like 10 days. I was so excited to see him. I just landed at the airportand he texted that he was on his way to my house and i was excited that i would have most of the day and the night to be with him. I would get to talk about the trip and be excited and kiss him and talk about the larp.

Fuck i just wish he could express anything ever. Fuck.

Where was i? I got home, i was trying on larp stuff and being excited and he got there and he seemed normal and we went to my room and i changed back into normal clothes and he sat on the other end of my bed and i was motioning for him to sit with me and he moved to still sit across from me and i was like what’s up?

And he just sat there holding my hands and stuttering and trying to speak and stopping and then i said,

Are you trying to break up with me?

And he said yes, I’m sorry. And i just felt like confused and like aw he’s having trouble speaking but also what are you doing?

And then i was like why? Why are you doing this right now, we have such a fun weekend planned and we have a party tomorrow and a larp and all this to celebrate together, why are you doing this now? You couldn’t have waited until after our fun weekend, until after my fun weekend? Until after i could do the stuff i had been so excited about and planning and planning with you? You couldn’t have waited??

Theres never a good time..

There fuckin is, it’s called ANY of the times i brought it up to you that thigs weren’t working. ANY of the times i said we weren’t communication well. ANY of the times i said i wasn’t happy or that we’re so different or that we just love differently. THATS when you mention the fact that you feel that way too. You fucking. Tell. Me. You fucking say hey I’ve been feeling that way too, we are super different, our communication doesn’t work well together, idk if I’ve been super happy. You fucking say something then. You don’t calm me down over and over saying that we’ll work it out we’ll work it out and then drop this on me literally an hour after i get home from a trip and before this really fun weekend that i would have liked to enjoy. I really was looking forward to this stuff and now you fucking ruined it. I’m not the kind of person who deals with shit by going out partying and pretending everything is fine. I fucking know it’s not fine and i see peoples faces looking at me with the “how ya doin?” face and the pity and the “oh wheres spencer?”

Dude, fuck you.

It’s not like i didn’t also think the relationship wasn’t working. I went back and forth so many times on whether or not to end it or stick it out, but i wouldn’t have fucking dropped it on you right before you had a bunch of important shit to do

Fuck you

Of course i knew it wasn’t working, we been knew. It hasn’t been working since the start frankly, we don’t communicate cohesively. I actually have emotions? And talk about them? And want to hear how you feel about stuff? What a fucking concept???

Fuckkkk youuu

I actually cared enough to go out of my way all the damn time to do what you needed, and show you how i felt, and love you the way you receive it best. Where was my gesture? Where was forthought into doing something for me? Where were any words that actually came from your heart and not phrases that i said were special to me?

Dude, fuck you man.

I’m angry. I’m really really frustrated because we talked so many times about when i was having doubts and when i was feeling like we needed help and we needed to fix shit and where i asked you over and over AND OVER!! HOW YOU FELT! That’s when you fuckig say something! You fucking tell me hey I’ve been having some doubtsabout the relationship and I’m not sure if I’m happy, and then we would have talked, seen that we felt the same way, and ended things respectfully together. But instead, you kept that shit in for months so you could blindside me before i have shit to do

FUCK. YOU.

How do you expect relationships to go? We small talk, fuck, eat, and sleep? And give each other space but don’t ever text or talk while we’re apart? What kind of relationship is that?

Beat change

What kind of relationship was i settling for? With someone who, not wouldn’t, but couldn’t share their feelings. Someone who was incable of really anything involving emotional intelligence. Someone who RARELY asked me how i was doing or what i was thinking about or how i was feeling. Never asked about my past, never knew HUGE pieces of who i am because he never bothered to dig around? He never knew about my depression, or the self harm, or the eating disorder, just a few. So many parts of what ultimately made me me and he just never asked. I asked about him CONSTANTLY and i could never get much.

What kind of relationship was i settling for? Where i have to do so much fucking legwork to get the affection i need and so much effort to train him how to respond to a text in less than an hour. What was i settling for? Because he was the one? Hell no, we been knew this was casual from the start

OH THAT TOO! BITCH THIS WHOLE OPERATION WAS YOUR IDEA!!!!

We weren’t even dating! We weren’t a couple! We were hooking up and then YOU decided you liked me more and YOU decided you wanted to be exclusive and YOU wanted me to be your girlfriend and YOU initiated all those conversations that got us here. And then YOU have the audacity (I’m being dramatic) to step out after you decide theres no fixing us when you didn’t even give it a fair shot. When i brought up how to make us better and how i asked how you felt about every little thing just to gain an inch of insight into what the fuck was ever on your mind.

What kind of relationship was i settling for? Where i had to stretch to get reassurance. Where i had to stretch to get validation. Where no compliment came free or unprovoked. Basically everything you ever told me was because i fucking prompted you to speak. If i hadn’t, we wouldn’t. If i didn’t start a conversation, there was no conversation.

God i am so fucking angry about it. Yes I’m sad and we’ll get to that, but I’m really fucking angry. And i feel guilty because i want to shut down and not be social but i feel like people are fucking relying on me to show up to stuff and drive people to things and camp and do all this and i fuckiiiiinnnggg wanna just not.

But i can’t be a hermit because then i let everyone down. If i bail that means mark has no ride or tent and julia won’t go and shell be bummed and shea will be mad because I’ll miss another fucking larp and everything falls on me

But if i go, i know myself, and I’m gunna be a fucking wreck the whole time. I’m gunna be crying and not wanting to participate and I’m gunna have to watch all the couples be happy and be like “so wheres spencer? What happened? Are you okay?”

I hate are you okay.

Fuckin..???? Like..???? Naw?? I got dumped before a bunch of shit i was super excited for and now can’t be excited because I’m heartbroken and have to do all this shit without him after getting my hopes up that he would go and it would be so romantic and right up our alley and so fun.. and now it’s fucking ruined and everytime i think about the larp, i think about how many people are counting on me to go and how people will say they understand but are also super disappointed and secretly hate me for throwing a wrench in our plans

BUT ITS NOT MY FUCKING WRENCH

ITS HIS WRENCH BECAUSE HE COULDNT HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME HOW HE WAS FEELING MONTHS AGO OR, and i can’t stress this enough, FUCKING WAITED UNTIL AFTER.

I’m mad because he knew how important this weekend was to me, that i literally cut my family vacation short to spend time with him, and i can’t even get to enjoy it with my friends now cuz i swear theyre all gunna be looking at me and thinking ah shit is she ok, should we say something, is she drinking too much, is she eating too much, is she blinking too much, hey are you okay?

I’m frustrated too because i swear i went back and forth on breaking up with him so much and i can’t believe he’s the one who did it, and blindsided me, and ruined my fun weekend. I literally texted mark like a week before my trip in a frenzy like I NEED TO BREAKUP WITH SPENCER! And he talked me down. Yah, mark talked me down. Who always seemed to hate spencer and not like that we were dating, he fucking talked me out of ending it. MARK.

Dude, fuck you, right now. Fuck you for not being about to just talk to me. Fuck sake, it can’t seriously be that difficult to have an emotion formed into a single thought right? I do it constantly. How hard is it to say “i feel like we’re having problems” or “I’m struggling” or fucking anything. Nah, just keep it in and unleash it on the worst time possible. Sounds super.

Fuck you man.

Ima go to bathroom or something. I need to walk this off. Fuck I’m so angry

Also, fuck you for the corny friend line near the end

“I hope that someday-“ “i swear to god if you say that we can still be friends..” “well.. yeah, id like to”

Like, fuck me gently with a chainsaw, i don’t wanna be your friend, dude. We don’t really have a lot in common, it’s kinda part of why we’re breaking up, remember?

The couples who usually stay friends after a breakup are the ones who have a ton in common and lose attraction for each other, whereas spence and i have eh not a lot a lot in common, and i reaaallyy attracted to him. That pairing doesn’t bode for great friends. That sets us up to be like fuck buddies again. No, i don’t wanna be friends. At least not now. I basically said we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but honestly, fuck that noise, ok? That’s basically u saying that I’m not attractive and that youd be fine just hanging out in groups and hitting on my friends.

Pass.

I’m glad i asked about romy tho. I always thought he had a thing for her and maybe that was why he wanted to end things. Theyd make a good match i guess. Both of them are incapable of expressing any emotions and are crazy stoners.

Man i am not gunna miss the potheads. Omigod. I worry so fucking much about his health and I’ve told him many times. Youll notice, if you read the records back, not once has he expressed interest in my health. Never commented on drinking or working out or anything really. Never worried about my safety ever. Not even after i was sexually assaulted, which i know is a low blow, but honestly..??? Where was the concern? Where was the fuck that guy attitude? If someone had groped spencer, you better believe i would say some shit. I would fucking destroy them. I wouldve done anything to keep him safe, including getting sexually assaulted so that i could get his drunk ass home. Whos gunna carry you back to your dorm anymore? Whos gunna take care of you when you’re throwing up from alcohol poisoning? Won’t be ANY of the people in your inner circle, I’ll tell you that much. Your friends don’t give a shit about your health and it shows and it broke my heart everytime. I watched your friends ignore you vomiting.

I watched your friends ignore you vomiting.

And then offer you weed. Then you threw up again and they passed out. Ffucking what? call me overattentive, but thank god you had me those nights. When you passed out drunk behind a tent at BFtR or when you got too high at a wonderland party or when you drank too much at the alpha toga party and were throwing up in ralphs bags while your friends IGNORED YOU. whos gunna do that for you now? Are you gunna end up dead after a delta party one day because your friends don’t give a shit about you? I worried about this NONSTOP. Because i cared so much about you, and i still do. And i would worry every time youd leave the house and go to bars or whatever because i know that something like that is going to happen again, and I’m not gunna be there to pick up the pieces and give you a placw to sleep and make sure you drink water and take medicine and care about you. Tell me which one of your “friendsl is going to care about you the way i did. Cuz I’ve watched them all fail that test frankly and it breaks my heart.

But i guess.. that’s not my problem anymore. The days of getting you home safe after one too many is over. The nights of staying up till 5 am holding your hair up are over. The conversations I’ve tried to have about your health and hoping youd change those habits is over. Cuz it can’t be my problem anymore. Cuz i can’t watch you kill yourself anymore. I can’t watch you poison yourself everyday anymore. I can’t watch you hurt and hurt and shove it all down anymore. I can’t do it. I can’t watch you be high anymore. I can’t look at you with your eyes drooping anymore. I can’t worry about you taking weird drugs and acid and wondering if you’re okay anymore. Cuz I’m not your girlfriend anymore, and i can’t be your friend either. But i hope you get such a friend soon. I hope you find a better person to look after you a little. Cuz I’ve watched too many of your “friends” just inable you to do dumb dangerous shit. I can’t watch it anymore

I’m not gunna fight for us to stay together. I’m not gunna ask you to reconsider. I’m gunna (try to) not reach out. I don’t wanna talk. Theres nothing more to say. Anything else, all of this, is just me being angry. And needing to get out anger, but it doesn’t ever need to see him. He doesn’t need to hear how I’m feeling. He doesn’t need to see me suffer. He doesn’t need to hear that I’m angry or sad or doing well. He feels enough guilt as it is, and i don’t need to add to it.

But i can still be angry. And i can still be sad. And at some point, I’m gunna do okay. Because that’s how this shit goes. You go up and you go down and you have friends, real friends, there to catch you. And i hope you do too.

For now, it’s too hard. It’s too hard to look at my instagram with pictures of you. It’s too hard to see your face. It’s too hard to think about what to do about your mom and sister that follow me. It’s too hard to think about if i want to take the pictures down.. cuz what if you do..

I guess i should probably sleep.. but i just feel really fucking hollow. And really fucking heavy. And really fucking tired. But really fucking sad... like really fucking sad..

And i bet he’s feeling none of it. Cuz that’s what he does. He pushes everything away and never talks about how things affect him.

As we were talking, he said that this was the most he’s cried in the past years combined. And considering the last year he had, that is really fucking sad. In some ways it’s nice to know i had a big impact, but also like.. god.. he needs to be talking to someone. He needs a therapist. He needs help. He says he doesn’t, but he does. We dated for 10 months and he couldn’t talk about his dad. We never talked about my past. He really scimmed the surface of what a connection should be, and that’s really sad. And he ended it before he could make some real improvement because he was getting better.. really slowly but he was.

Idk what to do with myself. Idk how to feel or what to say or who to say it to. I want to sleep and i want to do yoga tomorrow. And i want to figure it out from there.